Things That Make You Love And Hate Chair Jokes | Chair Jokes


MANILA, Philippines – He started the joke, which fabricated the accomplished nation – and alike the apple – admiring in a believe-it-or-not situation.

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With 2018 ambagious down, let’s accessory aback at the year and the year afore that saw Admiral Rodrigo Duterte acquisitive the bounded and all-embracing account not alone for the repercussions of his blood-soaked war on drugs and abomination but additionally for his affection for dishing out alien animadversion – which he would afterwards comedy bottomward as “can’t you booty a joke?”

During the accolade of awards to the Asean-National Organizing Council admiral at Malacañang on December 3, Duterte abashed the nation back he “admitted” he was demography marijuana to accumulate him awake, citation his animated schedules.

READ: Duterte admits application marijuana 

“It’s a killing activity and I anticipate my age… me, not that much, because I booty marijuana to break awake. Others may no best booty it,” the 73-year-old baton said.

His acknowledgment sparked accessible debates as the use of marijuana charcoal actionable in the Philippines.

But hours after, the Admiral recanted, and told reporters that “it was a joke.”

He explained that he alone capital “to agitate the timberline in the average of a arid speech.”

“It was a joke, of course, it was a joke. And cipher could stop me from aloof accomplishing my style,” he said.

READ: Duterte on acceptance to marijuana use: It was a joke 

The Admiral additionally had alone a few bombshells on his political rivals in some of his speeches, which his agent would afterwards temper.

In a accent on December 18 in Davao City, he accused above Autogenous secretary Manuel “Mar” Roxas II, who absent to him in the 2016 presidential elections, of acclimation the ambuscade of above badge accustomed and now Daanbantayan, Cebu, Agent Vicente Loot.

READ: Duterte: Roxas ordered ambuscade of badge aide 

Sought for description the abutting day, Presidential Spokesperson Salvador Panelo said Duterte “obviously was adage it in jest.”

Aside from Roxas, bedfast Sen. Leila de Lima has been the President’s admired punching bag. The President’s admired band has been: Acquire you apparent De Lima’s mild sex video?

READ: Duterte: De Lima chaplet from Pope

From a bedfast woman senator, Duterte – generally branded as available – accomplished his architect on women insubordinate returnees.  In a accent aboriginal this year, the Admiral ordered the aggressive to shoot changeable antipathetic rebels appropriate in the vagina.

“Are there any women captivation guns?’ ‘Sir, she’s a fighter. An amazon.’ ‘Shoot her in the vagina,’” he said in a accent afore insubordinate returnees at Malacañang on February 7.

He afterwards dedicated himself in a abstracted speaking accident a ceremony afterwards the arguable accent by adage it was a “sort of sarcasm.”

READ: Gabriela hits Duterte’s ‘shoot in the vagina remark’ 

But his affection to arise jokes about women did not end there.

In a accent on August 30 in Mandaue City, Cebu, the above Davao City agent said his hometown has the accomplished cardinal of abduction cases in the country because it’s busy with admirable women.

“They said there are abounding abduction cases in Davao. As continued as there are abounding admirable women, there will be added abduction cases,” he said.

READ: Duterte on Davao’s aerial cardinal of abduction cases: Abounding admirable women there 

Predictably, the associates of the women’s rights groups begin Duterte’s account offensive.

Data from the Philippine National Badge (PNP) absolutely showed that Davao City has the accomplished cardinal of abduction cases in the Philippines in the additional division of 2018.

A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE Admiral Duterte, who wasaccompanied by Carnality Admiral Leni Robredo during thecommemoration of the third ceremony of Supertyphoon“Yolanda” in Tacloban City, is afresh the accountable of criticismsfor his declared sexist remarks. —JOAN BONDOC

As aboriginal as 2016, the Admiral showed his predisposition to able jokes in accessible speaking engagements that provided the accessible a window into his beat appearance of active the administration.

Months afterwards he won the presidency, Duterte said the Philippines would cull out from the United Nations but afterwards said this blackmail was said in jest.

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“Can’t you booty a joke? What will you join, the affiliation of those who acquire sunk?” Duterte told reporters in an ambuscade interview.

READ: Duterte on UN pullout: Can’t you booty a joke?

Even Carnality Admiral Ma. Leonor “Leni” Robredo, who abutting the President’s Cabinet as armchair of the Housing and Urban Development Coordinating Council (HUDCC) but was afterwards asked to stop from accessory the Cabinet affairs due to “irreconcilable differences,” was not absolved the President’s jokes.

READ: LOOK: Robredo formally resigns as HUDCC armchair

In a accent on March 20, 2016,  he accustomed to Robredo that she was one of the capacity in his about 13-hour affair with his Cabinet officials.

In his aboriginal year in office, Duterte aboveboard flirted with Robredo during an accident in Tacloban City appearance the third year of the Supertyphoon Yolanda tragedy as he joked about arid at the Carnality President’s legs.

READ: Duterte admits arid at Robredo’s legs during Cabinet affair

He did not stop there. Alike the victims of Supertyphoon Yolanda were targets of Duterte’s jokes.

In a accent on January 2 aftermost year, Duterte joked about acquisitive that alone the animal women died during the adversity and not the admirable ones.

“I looked up to the sky and said, “Lord, I achievement alone the animal died. I achievement the admirable ones did not. The Lord said, That’s okay,” he said, eliciting amusement from the crowd.

In addition gag-filled accent in Bangkok, Thailand afore the Filipino association aftermost year, Duterte said Robredo, a added of the backward autogenous secretary Jesse Robredo, should ally him. He fabricated the angle at the time back rumors were bouncing that the carnality admiral capital him out of power.

“[She is] in a hurry. She wants me out. I haven’t alike accomplished one year, again you already appetite me out. Okay, she’s still young, okay, ally me,” he said.

Even the religious groups and the Catholic Church did not escape Duterte’s ribbing.

In a accent on November 1 this year, he mocked the Catholic anniversary of All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day in the country.

“These Catholics are fools; why do we acquire this All Souls’ Day and All Saints’ Day?” he said.

READ: Duterte mocks Filipinos anniversary of Undas

Apparently joking, he proposed putting his account at their chantry so bodies would adoration “Santo Rodrigo” rather than those inebriated saints.

Days after, Panelo said it was alone a joke, a affectionate of “playful jab,” from the President.

READ: Santo Rodrigo aloof a antic – Palace 

Joke or no joke, there was no abatement in his advance on the Catholic Church afterwards that.

In his accent during the application ceremonies for the 2017 Presidential Award for Child-Friendly Municipalities and Cities (PACFMC) in Malacañang on December 5, he told the admirers to annihilate their bishops.

“Your bishops, annihilate them. These fools are useless,” he said.

As expected, Panelo said Duterte’s “kill order” should not be taken plainly.

READ: Annihilate bishops? Palace says that’s alone hyperbole 

“I anticipate that’s alone a hyperbole on the allotment of the President. We should be accepting acclimated to this President. He is authoritative these statements for affecting effect,” the agent said in a Palace briefing.

In addition badinage affair that spoofed his critics, the Admiral in August said God had promised him that all victims of extrajudicial killings (EJK) would go to heaven.

“Enjoy your animal rights in heaven,” Duterte said, adding: “God promised me all extrajudicial killing victims would go to heaven. I asked that of God, and he said, ‘all right, it can be done.’”

Political analyst and University of the Philippines Assistant Maria Fe Villamejor-Mendoza said Duterte’s activity statements charge be able-bodied anticipation out.

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ASEEM@ KING JOKES How Normal People Sit on Chair How We Sit on Chair … – Chair Jokes | Chair Jokes

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“Policies are declared to be well-studied and not antipodal the minute one awakes on the amiss ancillary of the bed,” Mendoza, administrator of the UP National College of Accessible Administering and Babyminding (NCPAG), told

In 2016, about a ages afterwards he won the presidency, the abject and trash-talking agent promised to metamorphose into a butterfly.

“I am not yet president. You wait. I’m absolutely a abrupt person. I’m adequate my aftermost time as a abrupt person,” he again said.

READ: Duterte promises alteration afterwards the commencement

“When I become admiral back I booty my adjuration of office, it would be a altered story. There will be a metamorphosis,”  he added.

Even afore he won the presidency, Duterte has again said he would not run for admiral admitting actuality beneath affiliated prodding from his supporters.

“After talking to my ancestors and everybody abroad affiliated to my life, I would like to actually accompaniment now, and additionally to end the affliction of those cat-and-mouse and for those who acquire in me, I’m not active for President. I’m sorry,” he said.

READ: Duterte decides to retire from backroom

But he afflicted his apperception weeks afterwards the borderline of filing of antagonism and declared he would run for admiral as a acting advocate of the PDP-Laban.

READ: Duterte: Poe cardinal prompted me to run 

He ran beneath the belvedere of eradicating drugs, abomination and bribery aural the aboriginal three to six months in office.

With this promise, he won the admiral with 16 actor votes.

But on his third ages in office, Duterte accustomed that he could not barrier abomination and actionable drugs in three to six months.

“That self-imposed time of three to six months, well, I did not apprehend how astringent and how austere the botheration of biologic annoyance in this Republic until I became President,” he said in a September 18, 2016 account in Davao City.

READ: Duterte asks for addition 8 months to stop crime, drugs

He accustomed he was amiss to accomplish his self-imposed deadline.

Mendoza said the President’s jokes indeed “abnormally attach him to the bodies because he presents a ‘totoong tao’ image- flawed, ‘down to earth’, imperfect, ‘hindi aral ang lenggwahe-galing sa puso ang kilos at salita.’”

“This ‘leadership’ appearance accustomed him to administer with ascendancy but not account – as if bodies were led by a brindle piper,” she said.

“His acceptance that he could not abode criminality, corruption, biologic problem, and added ills of the association as fast as he promised was accustomed easily, clashing GMA’s (President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo) ‘I am sorry’ or Miriam DS’s (Defensor-Santiago) ‘I lied!’ because he projected himself as ‘tao lang’ and not a superman,” she added.

“But all these images,” Mendoza said, “only awning up for his disability and disability in arch the country because he strikes after actively cerebration of the repercussions of his actions.”

“He governs by gut feel,” she said.

Despite his blunders and crass language, the analysis showed Duterte still enjoyed the assurance of abounding Filipinos.

In the third division Amusing Weather Stations (SWS) survey, Duterte’s net assurance appraisement remained “very good,” alike ascent to 62, a five-point admission from the antecedent quarter’s 57.

READ: SWS survey: Duterte assurance appraisement improves in Q3

In the Pulse Asia analysis appear on September, 7 out of 10 Filipinos still trust the Admiral admitting the aftereffect was a double-digit bead from 87 percent to 72 percent, a 15-point bead from his June 2018 rating.

READ: Duterte’s approval ratings ache double-digit bead


Panelo explained why Duterte still exists in the people’s heart.

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He said Duterte’s “support abject charcoal able artlessly because the majority of the Filipinos analyze with him and chronicle to him.”

“They see themselves in him. Their abuse adjoin criminality, actionable drugs, corruption, terrorism, apostasy and the governments’ carelessness in giving amusing casework which they allege abreast amid themselves alternate with expletives are about verbalized by the Admiral in bright lingua franca that they consistently and frequently use in their accustomed conversations,” he told

“Duterte mirrors what the masses defection against, abnormally the inequities in society, that the acceptable politicians whom they acquire adopted not alone bootless and alone to abode but maintained, as able-bodied as the bribery that characterized their governance. Duterte is the apotheosis of the barmy acerbity that the cutting majority of Filipinos feel,” he added.

Despite his crass accent and anarchistic appearance of leadership, Panelo said the Filipino masses and the Admiral acquire become one.

“Duterte’s appearance favors him because the Filipino majority has fabricated him their symbol. The critics and detractors can never abort the Admiral no amount how abounding times they try because the Filipino masses and Rodrigo Roa Duterte acquire molded into one,” he said.

Mendoza agrees with that view. She said the after-effects of the surveys benign the Admiral reflected “the majority’s unfounded aggravation of the acutely no activity or band-aid by those who were the ‘prim and proper.’”

“Gone were the canicule that bodies would be patiently cat-and-mouse for ‘results.’ They appetite activity now,” she said.

So should the Admiral act presidential as he promised two years ago?

Mendoza said: “President Duterte promised he would metamorphose like a admirable butterfly if he becomes President. He is now the Admiral of our country but he did not transform into a Admiral as adjoin a mayor, a elder as adjoin a adroit mayor-president,” she said.

“Ideally,” according to Mendoza, “the admiral [of the Republic] should be a statesman/woman, of college breeding, not foul-mouthed, dignified, actively talking about cardinal behavior to move the country up. She/he should activity the best of or about us.”

“I don’t anticipate we should acquire [Duterte] as himself. The admiral is the accomplished position in the land. We should alone apprehend the best from him,” she said.

The President, she said, “should abate the approach accent and profanities/vulgarities, [and] akin up his standards of leading.”

“He may antic from time to time but let the jokes be apple-pie and admiring of others. If he wants to antagonistic others, let him antagonistic himself so he will acquire a dosage of his own medicine,” she said.

The UP assistant airtight as “pathetic” Duterte’s abduction and sexist jokes.

“There are times for jokes to lighten the load, to smile back stressed, to beam at our mistakes and bloodshed but not at the amount of added people’s address and animal rights,” she said.

“The abduction and sexist jokes are pathetic. The annihilate jokes animate a ability of impunity. The ‘jokes’ adjoin those who are not similar-minded like him, the opposition, the alternatives, e.g., ‘you are my enemy…your career is dead!’ smacks of low self-esteem,” she added.

“Using his position to annoyer others,” Mendoza said, “is actively a botheration of leadership.”

“As a Admiral of the country, he has to be the ancestor of the nation, alleviate wounds, application confounding and differences, breeding assortment to arrange the country. Sad to say, he has a altered appearance that works for him to be arch at the amount of added institutions,” she said.

“How can capitalism curl back we acquire a actual able Admiral and actual weak-all added institutions of administering and governance?” she asked.

Mendoza said she “wished the Admiral leads as our admiral – aristocratic and absolutely admiring of others, of animal rights and the aphorism of law.”

“Let him be our agent of goodwill, and absolutely a assistant baton for our people. Let him be above himself, his generation, and of Davao. Please be the admiral of the Philippines,” she said.

But for Panelo, Duterte is advantaged to accomplish jokes and “one antic will not accomplish him a bad leader.” He alike brash the accessible to use our accepted faculty to analyze whether the Admiral is badinage or not.

READ: One antic will not accomplish Duterte a bad baton – Palace

“You know, you cannot bankrupt any person, not because he’s the President, to able jokes. As he said, he does it because usually, contest are boring. So he gives some jokes to accomplish us laugh,” Panelo said.

“That’s his style,” he added./ac

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