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ALAMO HEIGHTS, Texas — FOR SALE: One tiny kingdom, with abounding thrones. But it doesn’t appear with a ancestral title.

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That belongs, in perpetuity, to Barney Smith — the acknowledged “King of the Commode.”

“There’s a lot of me in there,” he says, sitting in advanced of the corrugated metal barn he’s dubbed his Toilet Bench Art Museum.

There’s a lot of, well, aggregate in there.

Smith has one bench busy with a block of the Berlin Bank and addition with a allotment of insulation from the bedevilled Shuttle Challenger. There are lids accessory with flint arrowheads, Civil War Minie balls, Amtrak alternation keys, Pez dispensers — alike $1 actor in disconnected banknote from the Federal Reserve Bank in San Antonio.

Every inch of door, bank and beam amplitude is covered.

The assurance out advanced — a chiffonier lid, of advance — says Smith’s art is “NOT FOR SALE.” But afterwards bristles decades and endless offers, the baron says aggregate charge go.

“At 96, I appear out actuality with a cane. I’ve gotta authority assimilate aggregate to walk,” says Smith, who is angled with arthritis and struggles to beat the acrid metal doors accessible for visitors. “I’m alpha to feel like that I’d rather be in an air-conditioned home in a chair, attractive at a acceptable program.”

Still, walking abroad will be hard.

“This is my life’s history here,” he says.

It started added than 50 years ago, as a way to affectation hunting trophies.

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Smith says his ancestor would absorb hours acid out, sanding and condoning board bouncer to arise his antlers. The son ample a toilet bench lid would do aloof fine.

“Well, I’m a adept plumber, retired,” he says. “I anticipation I care to stick with my trade.”

Smith had promised his wife, Louise, that he’d stop at 500. That was 850 toilet seats ago.

“If I would accept aloof apprehend my Bible as abounding hours as I spent on my toilet seats, I’d be a bigger man,” he says with a blink in his eye.

Smith’s branch is ample attic to beam with agenda boxes abounding with allowance and ends. He engraves his works with cast-off drills donated by a bounded dentist.

Smith readily admits that he’s no Jasper Johns.

“The abstruse artisan would booty it and he would aerosol a little acrylic over actuality and a little bit of acrylic actuality and say, ‘This is the Alamo,'” Smith says with disgust. “I do detail.”

Smith toiled in obscurity until an artisan who’d appear by to see some of his oil paintings bent a glimpse of his barn and told a bounded TV station.

“They askance my arm so until I said to appear on,” Smith says.

The allotment aired on a Friday. The afterward Monday, two added stations came calling. Again came the tourists.

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“And so I aloof slung the aperture open,” he says.

Smith clearly opened as a building in 1992. Since then, visitors from every accompaniment and 83 adopted countries accept fabricated their way to this little burghal absolutely amidst by the burghal of San Antonio.

He asks that visitors accomplish an appointment. But he doesn’t about-face anyone away.

Smith uses his walking stick to point out his favorites. Like a bathroom bench from the aeroplane that agitated billionaire Aristotle Onassis’s anatomy home to Greece. Or the allotment of one of Iraqi absolutist Saddam Hussein’s “thrones.”

He regales tourists with the account of “Old Rip,” the “horny toad” who emerged animate afterwards 31 years entombed in the courthouse cornerstone in his hometown of Eastland, Texas. He additionally treats anniversary to a address of “When Earth’s Aftermost Picture is Painted” — a Rudyard Kipling composition he was assigned to apprentice in fifth grade.

No one leaves after signing his guestbook — and a toilet seat.

Smith is currently alive on a bench commemorating the 2018 Winter Olympics in South Korea. He suspects that will be his last.

In 2014, he absent Louise, his wife of 74 years. A few months ago, he fell and bankrupt two ribs.

Daughter Julia Murders says they’ve had offers. A man from India, who capital to buy the accumulating for his daughter, offered $20,000 — about $15 per seat.

“We discussed it and we said, ‘Daddy, you know, you’ve been accomplishing this your accomplished life. The aftermost few years of your life, you’ve done annihilation BUT this,'” says Murders, 69, who lives nearby.

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People accept told Smith that he’s sitting on a pot of gold. But Smith isn’t attractive to banknote in.

“I appetite all 1,350 to be complete in addition building somewhere,” he says. “It’s not the accomplished bidder. It’s not actuality raffled off.”

Austin biographer and administrator Daedelus Hoffman says Smith and his accumulating are priceless. And he wants to advice bottle that legacy.

His Cattywampus Press aloft added than $30,000 to aftermath a full-color, cloth-bound book about Smith. “King of the Commode: Barney Smith & His Toilet Bench Art Museum” is actuality appear Saturday, aloof in time for Smith’s 97th birthday.

Hoffman hopes the book will advice Smith allure a acceptable buyer. If annihilation else, he capital to at atomic “document this allotment of Americana.”

“For me, Barney’s adventure is about the congenital animal admiration to actualize and communicate,” Hoffman says. “He is a folk artist. And his adventure and his activity assignment claim preservation.”

Smith would adulation for the accumulating to abide area it is. But if it charge move to abide intact, so be it.

“I’m accessible to accord it up and let it go to London,” he says.

The Loovre, perhaps?

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