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Mark Oppenheimer directs the Yale Journalism Initiative and hosts the “Unorthodox” podcast for Tablet Magazine.

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Last month, my wife told our 5-year-old daughter, Anna, that because we’d be out of boondocks on an accessible weekend, Anna would accept to abatement an allurement she’d gotten. It was a altogether affair for a boy I’ll alarm Ben.

“Oh, can’t we amuse break home?” Anna implored. “I absolutely appetite to go to Ben’s party.”

“But Anna,” my wife said, “you don’t like Ben.”

Anna looked at her, perplexed. “That’s true,” she said. “But I like parties!”

Such are the travails of adopting an extrovert. For Anna, there is no such affair as a bad party. No night can annoyance on too long; no bedfellow can overstay her welcome. People, she believes, are built-in to be together. For her, if confinement is not absolutely a vice, it is at best an baffling blooper in taste.

How acute is Anna’s extroversion? One day she wouldn’t leave kindergarten until she had said goodbye to, and hugged, every adolescent in the room. Because best kids her age don’t booty blast calls, she brand to alarm my best acquaintance back childhood, now a man of 45, on the phone. She can never affix enough.

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In the 15 years back Jonathan Rauch wrote his affecting article “Caring for Your Introvert,” his pro-introvert article has been preached in array of articles, television account segments and books, including “The Alienated Leader,” “The Introvert Advantage ” and of advance Susan Cain’s 2012 mega-seller, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a Apple That Can’t Stop Talking.” We accept all been instructed that introverts are special, underappreciated and, to adduce Rauch, “wildly” misunderstood.

I don’t dissent, entirely. I adulation introverts. My wife is one. Our abode is the bank of a alloyed marriage. Very abundant Anna’s father, I like it back religious missionaries or political canvassers arena my bell. I may not accompany their abbey or armamentarium their cause, but I will consistently accord them a half-hour of front-stoop conversation. Again there’s my wife, who declines to acknowledgment the phone, not out of abhorrence that it ability be a robocall but because it ability be a person.

To her credit, my wife, whose absolute New Year’s Eve can be summed up as hot chocolate, a atypical and lights out at 10, has accomplished me to bigger acknowledge Anna’s earlier sister, our 8-year-old, who survives any ample amusing acquisition by award a quiet bend in which to reread Alcott or Rowling, or by authoritative one acquaintance to cull abreast for clandestine conversation. Already aloft a time, I ability accept insisted that Klara accompany the party. I now apperceive better, and I curiosity at how able-bodied she copes with a apple that consistently seems too loud and too close.

Nevertheless, there is absolutely article self-serving, blithely so, in the active introverts’ altercation that they are above — calmer, added patient, added compassionate — yet consistently vulnerable. They are both appropriate and abnormally oppressed. They accept different acumen but additionally charge different care.

Seriously? Is it the introverts whom parents accept to anguish about? They assume advised to contrivance danger, what with all that befitting their active down, accomplishing their work, alienated poisonous aerial academy gossip. Last time I checked, library cards and abandoned corners of accessible parks were still free. Dear alienated friends: I’m apologetic that your green English abecedary apparent you bottomward for not adopting your hand, but absolutely a activity chargeless of bar fights and beam mobs is some compensation. “Netflix and chill” and #selfcare are the mantras of our age. You’ll be fine.

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By contrast, accede the plight of the character active in during academy vacation, with no accompany to adapt and bang-up around. Christmas anniversary is boxy for Anna; afterwards four siblings, she’d be lost. And what will appear back the day comes and I accept to acquaint her that, accustomed our bound account and ample family, she ability appetite to accede a small, affectionate wedding?

The apple can be barbarous to accouchement who adore connecting. We’re all on guard, and for accouchement to debris to accept in “stranger danger” is decidedly suspect. Antisocial is the new social. One time, three summers ago, Anna and I entered a mostly abandoned amphitheater on a summer morning. Before active to the swings, she noticed an old woman sitting on a bench, alone, blinking boring into the sunlight. Anna absolved over.

“I’m Anna,” she said. “What’s your name?”

The woman banned to answer, instead adorable to me. “Good morning,” I said.

“You bigger acquaint your little babe not to allocution to people,” she said sourly, again fabricated a appearance of axis away.

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That woman meant well, I think. We alive in apprehensive times, and she feared what ability appear to a adolescent — a babe — who banned to obey the new conventions of distance, caution, unfriendliness.

Me, I anguish that afterwards addition appointment like that one, Anna will artlessly accord up on talking to old bodies in parks. Which would be a shame. Right now, she’s at an age back it’s almost accessible to be exuberant, but as accouchement — abnormally girls — get older, there is burden to be added reserved, added “poised.” True, as introverts age, they are pressured to allege up, which can be adamantine for them; but as extroverts abound up, they are sometimes accepted to modulate, to aqueduct down, to compress themselves. As the anew adopted Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez learned, a adolescent congresswoman can be mocked for accepting already danced on video in college. How unladylike.

I achievement Anna never stops talking to strangers or dancing. I apparently don’t accept to worry. I bethink addition time, a summer later, back we accustomed at the absolute atom on a awash New Jersey beach. I pitched our umbrella, opened up the folding chairs and asked Anna if she capital to go in for a swim.

“Not yet,” she said. “First I accept to go accommodated people.” She absolved to the awning abutting to ours, got in the face of a beer-bellied man in sunglasses account a Michael Connelly abstruseness and said, “Hi, I’m Anna!”

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