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KURAVILANGAD, India (AP) — The acceptance discharge out in the sitting apartment of Catholic convents, area portraits of Jesus accumulate watch and admirers circuit agilely overhead. They discharge out in abbey affair halls bathed in beaming lights, and over cups of bargain burning coffee in abbey kitchens. Always, the acceptance appear haltingly, quietly. Sometimes, the nuns allege at little added than a whisper.

Across India, the nuns allocution of priests who pushed into their bedrooms and of priests who pressured them to about-face abutting friendships into sex. They allocution about actuality groped and kissed, of easily apprenticed adjoin them by men they were aloft to accept were assembly of Jesus Christ.

“He was drunk,” said one nun, alpha her story. “You don’t apperceive how to say no,” said another.

At its best grim, the nuns allege of again rapes, and of a Catholic bureaucracy that did little to assure them.

The Vatican has connected been acquainted of nuns sexually abused by priests and bishops in Asia, Europe, South America and Africa, but it has done actual little to stop it, The Associated Press appear aftermost year.

Now, the AP has advised the bearings in a distinct country — India — and baldheaded a decades-long history of nuns constant animal corruption from aural the church. Nuns declared in detail the animal burden they endured from priests, and about two dozen added bodies — nuns, above nuns and priests, and others — said they had absolute ability of such incidents.

Still, the calibration of the botheration in India charcoal unclear, buried by a able ability of silence. Abounding nuns accept corruption is commonplace, insisting best sisters can at atomic acquaint of fending off a priest’s animal advances. Some accept it is rare. Almost none, though, allocution about it readily, and best allege alone on the activity they not be identified.

But this summer, one Indian nun affected the affair into the open.

When again complaints to abbey admiral brought no response, the 44-year-old nun filed a badge complaint adjoin the abbey who oversees her religious order, accusing him of raping her 13 times over two years. Soon after, a accumulation of her boyish nuns launched a two-week accessible beef in India’s Catholic heartland, ambitious the bishop’s arrest.

It was an aberrant action, adding India’s Catholic community. Inside the accuser’s abbey in rural Kerala state, she and the nuns who abutment her are now pariahs, abandoned from the added sisters, abounding of whom assert the abbey is innocent. The agitation nuns get abhorrence mail and abstain activity out.

“Some bodies are accusing us of animate adjoin the church, of actuality adjoin the church. They say, ‘You are admiration Satan,’” said one supporter, Sister Josephine Villoonnickal. “But we allegation to angle up for the truth.”

Villoonnickal has been a nun for 23 years, abutting aback she was a teenager. She scoffs at the abstraction that she wants to corruption the church.

“We appetite to die as sisters,” she said.

Some nuns’ accounts date aback decades — like that of the sister, almost out of her teens, who was teaching in a Catholic academy in the aboriginal 1990s.

It was backbreaking work, and she was attractive advanced to the adventitious to reflect on what had led her — appropriately — to abbey life.

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“We accept affectionate of a retreat afore we renew our vows,” she said, sitting in the acutely accurate sitting allowance of her big-city convent, area doilies awning best every surface, chairs are lined up in rows and the bellow of horns drifts in through accessible windows. “We booty one anniversary off and we go for prayers and silence.”

She had travelled to a New Delhi retreat centre, a accumulating of accurate barrio area she aggregate with added boyish nuns. A priest was there to advance the sisters in reflection.

The nun, who like others interviewed for this adventure batten on activity she not be identified, is a able and bull woman who has spent years animate with India’s poor and dispossessed, from aged wives to evicted families.

But aback she talks about the retreat her articulation grows quiet, as if she’s abashed to be overheard in the abandoned room: “I acquainted this person, maybe he had some thoughts, some attraction.”

He was in his 60s. She was four decades younger.

One night, the priest went to a adjacency party. He came aback late, afterwards 9:30 pm, and agape at her room.

“’I allegation to accommodated you,’” he said aback she absurd accessible the door, insisting he capital to altercate her airy life. She could aroma the alcohol.

“You’re not stable. I’m not accessible to accommodated you,” she told him.

But the priest affected accessible the door. He approved to kiss her. He affective at her body, dark wherever he could.

Weeping, she pushed him aback abundant to bang the aperture and lock it.

It wasn’t rape. She knows it could accept been so abundant worse. But decades afterwards she still reels at the memory, and this boxy woman, for a few moments, looks like a abashed boyish girl: “It was such a alarming experience.”

Afterward she agilely told her mother superior, who accustomed her to abstain added affairs with the priest. She additionally wrote an bearding letter to abbey officials, which she thinks may accept led to the priest actuality reassigned.

But annihilation was said aloud. There were no accessible reprimands, no warnings to the abounding nuns the priest would assignment with through his connected career.

She was too abashed to claiming him openly.

“I couldn’t brainstorm demography that stand. It was too scary,” she said. “For me it was risking my own vocation.”

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So the angry nun remained silent.

Catholic history is abounding with women who became martyrs to their own purity: Saint Agatha had her breasts broken off for abnegation to marry; Saint Lucy was austere animate and stabbed in the throat for arresting her virginity; Saint Maria Goretti was 11 years old aback she was dead by a man who approved to abduction her.

“It is a sin!” Maria is said to accept cried out. “God does not appetite it!”

But for a nun, angry off a priest’s advances agency pinballing through centuries-old animal and accounting traditions. Celibacy is a cornerstone of Catholic religious life, as is animal abstention amid nuns. Abounding nuns say a sister who admits to a animal acquaintance — alike if it’s affected — faces the accident of abreast aural her order, and possibly alike expulsion.

“You’re not abiding if you’ll be kept in your congregation, because so abundant is about your vow of chastity,” said Sister Shalini Mulackal, a New Delhi-based theologian. “That abhorrence is there for the boyish ones to acknowledge what has happened to them.”

At the aforementioned time, priests are apparent as active assembly of Christ, with accordance to them addition Catholic cornerstone.

Then there is the abreast of boyish women disturbing to acquisition their way in new communities afterwards abrogation their homes.

Caught at this circle of animal taboo, Catholic bureaucracy and loneliness, sisters can be larboard at the benevolence of bloodthirsty priests.

“There’s a lot of affect bottled up and aback a little amore is apparent by somebody it can be so accessible for you to cantankerous boundaries,” said Sister Dorothy Fernandes, who has spent years animate with the burghal poor in eastern India. “It can be adamantine to acquaint what is adulation and what is exploitation.”

It’s decidedly adamantine for sisters from Kerala, a acutely bourgeois arena connected the birthplace of best Indian nuns. Sex is rarely mentioned aboveboard in alone Kerala, boys and girls are abundantly kept apart, and a arresting bra band can be a accessory crisis for a boyish woman.

“Once you abound up, already you get your aboriginal menstruation, you are not encouraged to allege commonly to a boy. And the boys additionally vice-versa,” said a nun from Kerala, a airy woman with sparkly bottle earrings and an accessible smile. She remembers the ache of Sunday accumulation as an adolescent, aback boys would angle alfresco the abbey to watch girls filing in, eyes ample over their boyish figures. “We accept a abhorrent anathema about sex.”

That naivety, she said, can be costly.

Like the time she was a amateur nun, still in her teens, and an earlier priest came to the Catholic centre area she worked. He was from Goa, a littoral arena and above Portuguese colony.

She befuddled her head: “I was in allegation of visitors, and we had this bad addiction of actuality hospitable.”

At one point, she took the priest’s laundry to his baby room, area he was sitting. As she set bottomward the clothes, he affective her and began to kiss her.

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At first, she had no abstraction what was happening.

“The kissing was all advancing here,” she said, gesturing at her chest.

The abashing of that day is still bright on her face: “I was young. He was from Goa. I am from Kerala. In my apperception I was aggravating to amount out: ‘Is this the way that Goans kiss?’”

She bound accepted what was accident but couldn’t escape his angry grip. She additionally could not alarm out for help: “I cannot shout! He’s a priest.”

“I didn’t appetite to affront him. I didn’t appetite to accomplish him feel bad,” she said.

So she pushed herself abroad from him until she could blooper out the door.

She agilely told a chief nun to not accelerate novices to the priest’s room. But, like the nun who fought the bashed priest, she fabricated no official complaint.

A complaint adjoin a priest agency levelling an allegation adjoin addition college in the abbey hierarchy. It can beggarly accepting pulled into a coil of awful rumours and abbey politics. It agency risking your reputation, and the acceptability of your order.

In the church, alike some of those who agnosticism there is boundless corruption of nuns say the blackout can be enveloping.

Archbishop Kuriakose Bharanikulangara, a New Delhi-based abbey leader, calls incidents of corruption “kind of sporadic. Already here, already there”.

But “many bodies don’t appetite to talk”, he continued. “They may allocution in the community, but they don’t appetite to accompany it to the public, to the court.”

Speaking up can additionally accident banking troubles, back abounding congregations of nuns are financially abject to priests and bishops.

The blackout is abstract in India by demographics, religious backroom and a built-in acceptance that women accept little value.

There are almost 18 actor Catholics in India, but that’s a baby boyhood in this abundantly Hindu nation of 1.3 billion. Speaking up could befoul the angel of their church, abounding nuns worry, and augment criticism by Hindu hardliners.

“Even we, as religious sisters, alike we try to accumulate it quiet,” said Mulackal, the theologian. “A woman who goes through this experience, she aloof wants to adumbrate it and pretend aggregate is OK.”

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