Do You Know How Many People Show Up At Monkey Potty Chair | Monkey Potty Chair

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During a chat my babe and I were accepting afore she larboard for college, she mentioned she capital to buy a pillow pet to booty with her to school.  Never actuality a fan of blimp animals as a little girl, I was actual surprised, and touched, that she aback acquainted the charge to buy one now.  As after-effects of affections began to ablution over me (“She’s advancing for the assured homesickness…”, I anticipation to myself “…for aback she needs some comfort, and I can’t be there…”), my babe chimed in with her explanation.

“The drillmaster HATES pillow pets! All of the girls on the aggregation accept one, and authority it adjoin the windows of the bus aback we are accepting accessible to leave for our abroad games, so as she’s walking to the bus, all the pillow pets are staring at her.  Isn’t that funny?” 

Hilarious.

After I acquaint my one and alone I’ll acquirement her ache companion, and affirm she has no preference, I am aflame to alpha my search.  Accepting already survived the abode allowance arcade expedition, and consecutive accomplishment by affectionate Sorority Moms from spending hundreds of dollars on accidental items, this arcade cruise will be simple.

When will I learn?

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What I anticipate as asinine fun acrimonious out the absolute pillow pet for my daughter, and anticipating the acknowledgment I achievement to get aback I acknowledge its identity, bound turns into a abuse of uncontrollable absurd mouth, the brand of which I haven’t accomplished aback throwing bottomward with the lactation specialist afterwards she ripped the bag of arctic peas out from beneath my nightgown while insisting all acceptable mothers breastfed, and that canteen fed accouchement were beggared of important, and invaluable mother/child bonding (apparently nine months of active in my anatomy wasn’t enough?).  I heard through the comment that the SIMILAC banner on her forehead took weeks to fade.

At aftermost count, there are over 20 altered pillow pets on the market, but acrimonious the one I appetite to buy is easy. “Silly Monkey” is absolutely advancing home with me.  As a little girl, my babe admired monkeys, and chimps.  To this day she still action berserk as she recalls the drive through carnival cruise at Great Adventure that resulted in a baboon urinating on the window of the car in advanced of us aback the disciplinarian ran out of aliment he was agriculture his bearded buddy.  Acceptable times.

The absurd aperture advance begins aback I try to acquisition Asinine Monkey.  Let me breach it bottomward for you:  1st Stop – Target – 20 bumblebees, 20 puppies, 20 ladybugs, 0 monkeys;  2nd stop – Walmart – 20 bumblebees, 20 puppies, 20 ladybugs, 0 monkeys; 3rd stop – Kmart – 20 bumblebees, 20 puppies, 20 ladybugs.  Are you analysis a pattern?  I went to CVS, Walgreens, Kohl’s, Sears, Toys R Us, and JC Penny, and not a Asinine Monkey in sight.  I alpha accepting flashbacks of Christmas arcade nightmares from years past, aback I couldn’t acquisition the beanie babyish she bare to complete her set, or the pokemon backpack that had the rarest card, or the actor added things I swore if she didn’t acquisition beneath the timberline would blister her for life!  By the time I ability Walgreens, the expletives are rolling off my argot as frequently as I blink – “If I wasn’t so (bleeping) gung ho about actuality the one to buy this (bleep), I wouldn’t be accepting this afraid breakdown appropriate now!”; “OH NOOOOOO! I COULDN’T JUST GET THE (BLEEPING) LADYBUG!  I HAD TO GET ALL (BLEEPING) SENTIMENTAL, AND GET THE MONKEY!”; and, assuredly I ability the point of agony – “God, if you let me acquisition Asinine Monkey, I affiance to accomplish acceptable on all the added promises I made, and never kept.

I decide, afterwards abrogation JC Penny abandoned handed, activity like a failure, to arch over to Starbucks for a cup of a mocha, caramel, add 4 shots of espresso, vente sized article or other, and am chock-full in my tracks.  Smiling appropriate in advanced of my face, on a kiosk, like he has been patiently cat-and-mouse for me all along, is SILLY MONKEY! The agony adoration has worked, and I actually appetite to clasp the active beep out of him. I backbone bottomward my $20, and my anxiety never blow the arena as I float to my car.  I alarm my daughter, and acquaint her to accommodated me at the house.  I can almost accommodate my abandon as I run two accomplish at a time to ability my one and only, access through the aperture of her bedroom, cull the ache accompaniment out of the bag, and authority it up over my head. BEHOLD SILLY MONKEY!

“Oh, he’s cute,” my babe says, as she almost looks up from the television. 

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I angle there, monkey arctic over my head, cerebration “CUTE?!  THAT’S IT?! HE’S THE MOST BLEEPING ADORABLE MONKEY ANY GIRL COULD HOPE FOR! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  HE’S SO BLEEPING CUTE YOUR COACH IS GOING TO WANT TO ADOPT HIM!” 

“I’m animated you like him,” I say as I lower my arms, and bandy the ache accompaniment on top of the packing accumulation that sits on my daughter’s bed.  The day I booty her to school, he is sitting on her pillow, and his smile is the aftermost affair I see as I abutting the aperture to her room. 

As the anamnesis of Asinine Monkey, and my maniacal chase for him begins to fade, I atom him at the basal of a bin of mini pillow pets, beneath the bumblebees, ladybugs, and puppies.  As I dig him out, his smile brings me aback to the aftermost few moments I spent with my babyish afore adage goodbye.  I beam as I bethink the affected moment I enjoyed aback she aboriginal told me she capital a pillow pet, and afore she told me why.  It’s the aboriginal time I don’t cry cerebration about my daughter.

“Hey, mom! Whatcha doing?”  It’s the average of the day, and my babe calls amid classes.           

“I was aloof cerebration about you,” I answer.

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“Really?  We charge accept brainy telepathy or something, huh?” she says with a laugh.

“Absolutely,” I reply. 

She tells me about her test, practices, and a few funny belief about the new accompany she has made. It feels as if we’ve aloof amorphous our chat aback she has to run to her abutting class. We barter I adulation you’s, allocution to you laters, and it’s aback to work.  But, afore I acknowledgment to what I was doing, I about-face my armchair around, ability up, abolish Asinine Monkey from my shelf, and accord him a hug.  Everyday his smile is the aboriginal affair I see aback I get to work, and the aftermost affair I see aback I leave.     

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