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SAN FRANCISCO—Larry’s erect is 13 belief high, which is odd because best barrio don’t accept 13 belief because it’s bad luck, but Larry doesn’t accept to anguish about bad luck, because he is the fifth-richest man in the world. He’s so affluent and so awe-inspiring that bodies address added about how affluent and awe-inspiring he is than about what his aggregation absolutely does, which is cryptic to the majority of citizens. And aback it’s not about as abundant fun actuality affluent if no one knows or appreciates what you did to get rich, every now and afresh you charge to whip out your erect and beachcomber it about the face of an absolute city, which is what Larry Ellison and his aggregation did on Wednesday. Alarm it borough bukkake.

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In accession to its absorbing height, the baiter weighs seven tons. It was a afterimage to catch on Wednesday—Larry’s erect was accurately majestic, “flying aloft water” via feats of abyssal engineering. Tens of bags had appear out to see the affair for themselves, including at atomic a thousand Oracle employees, by one salesman’s appraisal at least. The aggregation was abuzz. The advisers were all psyched, explained the salesmen, and alike the naysayers, the ones who’d accustomed up aback Larry’s erect was bottomward eight contest to one, had rallied.

“Welcome to the ball we alarm the 34th America’s Cup!” the PA anchorperson said.

“Time to accomplishment the job or the improvement agency nothing!” the PA anchorperson said.

“This is the chase of the century!” the PA anchorperson said.

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The amphitheater set up for the account of Larry’s erect was the America’s Cup Pavilion, an alfresco capital absolute bars, restaurants, sponsored booths, a concert area (performers accommodate Fall Out Boy, Steely Dan, and of advance Train), tens of bags of comedy enthusiasts, and possibly alike a few association who could explain what acrid is. I came actuality on Wednesday to see the cessation of an accident that had bedeviled the city, in means both concrete and psychological. Oracle was everywhere. Not far from the Pavilion was Oracle Open World, the anniversary assay amid Oracle, its customers, and its acolytes that takes over two burghal blocks about San Francisco’s Moscone Center. Amid the America’s Cup Pavilion and the Open Apple conference, Larry had advance himself over a ample block of the city. This wasn’t an event; this was an occupation, the affectionate of affair that about requires accoutrements and tanks to cull off.

Watching a baiter chase is a bit like watching a horse race, if instead of active in a amphitheater the horses aloof ran in a beeline band for a few miles, afresh came back, afresh ran abroad again, afresh came back. Instead of betting, you can acquirement $11 Pinot Grigio. Instead of fun, you can accept article else, which is the adventure of actuality an added in some megalomaniac’s agitation dream.

That closing activity will be accustomed to anyone who has lived in San Francisco in contempo years, during which time the burghal has become a array of multi-company aggregation town, in chains to the tech industry and its gods. The GoogleAppleFacebook shuttles advance through the burghal like cholesterol; anon they’ll be apprenticed by robots. You apprehend bodies in coffee shops apropos to “Larry and Sergey,” as if they’re talking about their cousins. Zuck aloof bought a abode in the Mission, an bygone barrio area today alone bodies like Zuck can allow to live. Twitter gets tax breaks. And for 12 weeks Larry Ellison gets to about-face the burghal into a cairn to himself.

All the sailors were mic’d, and in the Pavilion their orders and imprecations were amplified via PA, forth with the sounds of the boats themselves, which resemble absonant seals. For an up-close view, you could watch the chase disentangle on big-screen TVs, which doesn’t action the aforementioned adventure as spying one of the boats with your own eyes from the bend of a pier, but hey, there are bean-bag chairs.

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Toward the average of the race, as the boats steered about the abyssal agnate of a alley cone—”rounding the marks,” they alarm it—I was appealing abiding Larry’s erect was losing, but it angry out to be the opposite: the affair was 162 meters advanced of the erect abaft it (that would be New Zealand’s cock, sponsored by the average New Zealand government, Lord of the Rings allegedly accepting run its advance in agreement of civic cast recognition). “Boat speed, baiter speed, baiter speed—a tactician’s best friend,” said the PA announcer. A few account after Oracle Team USA won.

Upon winning, a fireboat spurted baptize aerial up into the bay, and Larry’s baiter did achievement laps about the berth for all to see. Chants of “USA! USA!” ensued. A baby boy asked if anyone had apparent his little sister.

I saw a adult who’d catholic with her bedmate from the suburb of Fremont to watch the race. She was afflicted by the Oracle salesman’s affiliation, acquisitive to ask him questions.

“What do you sell?” she asked.

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“Ummm,” said the salesman, ablution into a abortive account of the billow afore affective on to the account of the moment: “This is the greatest improvement in sports history!”

I asked him what Larry would anticipate of his arena hooky from Oracle Open Apple to watch the race. In retrospect, it was a asinine question. The baiter chase wasn’t a recreational diversion; it was the analytic addendum of aggregate abroad Oracle was doing. All of San Francisco was aloof a mark for Larry Ellison to round.

The salesman smiled. “Larry would say, ‘Now get aback there and abutting the deal.'”

The bays commemoration was about to start. Larry’s erect pulled up to the dock; the sailors came active out.

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Garrett Kamps is a biographer active in San Francisco. He’s @gkamps on Twitter. Email him at thegarrett@gmail.com.

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